Many of us have been taught to hide our pain, deny our needs, and push forward without ever asking why we feel stuck or unseen.

But when we pause long enough to gently pull back the covers, we may discover something surprising: we’re not only playing the role of the one who’s been hurt…we’re also unconsciously contributing to our own struggle.

Sometimes, we may even withhold from others in the same way we fear they’re withholding from us.

Deprivation Isn’t Always Coming From Others

When life feels like it’s depriving us of love, opportunity, or understanding, it’s easy to assume the cause is external.

But what if, in some quiet corner of our lives, we’ve been closing the door ourselves?

• We might turn away from what’s already here because it doesn’t match our expectations.

• We might resist support because something inside whispers, “You don’t deserve this.”

Sometimes, we dismiss kindness or abundance simply because receiving feels unfamiliar.

Without realizing it, we form habits that close us off from the very things we long for:

love, nourishment, money, or connection.

Self-Deprivation Can Hide in Plain Sight

Self-deprivation often dresses up as strength, independence, or the belief that worthiness is tied to sacrifice.

Over time, overextending ourselves while quietly neglecting our own needs wears us down.

• Saying yes when rest is needed.

• Turning down help to prove we can do it alone.

• Avoiding what we truly want because our needs feel “too much.”

Underneath these choices may lie a quiet ache…a belief that we’re only worthy when giving, never when receiving.

Face It…Sometimes, We Withhold From Others Too

It can be hard to see, especially when we feel depleted.
Just as we experience deprivation, we may unknowingly deprive others:

• Holding back forgiveness.

• Staying quiet when we long to offer comfort.

• Keeping insights to ourselves, doubting their value.

We don’t do this to harm.
We do it to protect the vulnerable parts of ourselves…the ones that fear being misunderstood, unseen, or not enough.

A Gentle Turning Point

There’s one question that begins to shift everything:

What if I’m not being deprived by others…but unintentionally preventing myself from receiving?

This awareness isn’t about blame.
It’s an invitation to see things differently:

• Maybe the pain we feel is real, but it’s not the whole story.

• Maybe our needs matter just as much as everyone else’s.

• Maybe we have more choice in our experience than we realized.

Reclaiming Our Personal Power

This is how we begin to step out of the story that life is happening to us, and start remembering that life also happens through us.

There are three sacred energies we can begin to reclaim:

1. Personal Responsibility – Understanding that while we can’t control everything that happens, we shape how we respond.

2. Personal Authority – Choosing what’s true for us without guilt or explanation, standing in our own knowing.

3. Receiving – Allowing life to nourish us; saying yes to support, ease, and love without apology.

When any one of these energies is missing, we feel unsteady and create imbalance:

Too much responsibility without authority → burnout

Authority without willingness to receive → isolation

Receiving without grounded responsibility → hollow

When all three move together,

we create balance, empowerment, and freedom.