How Do We Know When We Are Losing Personal Power? We Seek or Lose Control!

When We Feel Controlled…

Feeling like someone else holds the reins of our peace, happiness, or future is exhausting.

Often, that feeling doesn’t come from them—it comes from a quiet disconnection from our own inner authority:

• Waiting for approval before making decisions.

• Blaming others to avoid uncomfortable responsibility.

• Shrinking ourselves to stay loved, accepted, or safe.

Ironically, the more we try to avoid pain, the more power we give away.

When We Try to Control Others…

Most of us don’t even realize we’re trying to control others.

It’s often an attempt to avoid being hurt:

• Micromanaging to avoid uncertainty.

• Holding back love when vulnerable.

• Creating expectations that feel safer than true connection.

But control doesn’t create safety…it creates distance.

Deep down, what we’re protecting is something tender inside that longs to be met with compassion.

What’s Really Going On

These patterns, feeling controlled, trying to control, over-giving, self-neglect, rarely begin with bad intentions.

• They often come from beliefs we picked up long ago.

• We may have internalized that there’s not enough love, success, or support, so we hoard, withhold, or compete.

• We may carry unhealed wounds from betrayal or abandonment, staying hyper-vigilant.

• Sometimes we feel so responsible for others’ emotions that we forget our own.

None of this makes us wrong—it makes us human.

The Healing Begins When We Ask… Am I protecting myself… or preventing myself from receiving what I seek?

This question is a gentle invitation to notice the patterns that subtly drain our personal power.
It’s also a doorway to reclaiming the three sacred forms of personal power:

1. Personal Responsibility – An Empowered Choice
   Choosing to tell a friend or colleague, “I need this space to focus on my work, and I need your support in honoring that,” even if it feels uncomfortable. You are vulnerable because you risk their reaction, but you are empowered because you clearly own your needs and communicate them honestly.

2. Personal Authority – Aligned Decisions
   Deciding to decline an invitation to a social event because it doesn’t align with your priorities or well-being, even if others may be disappointed. You honor your own truth without guilt, staying aligned with what matters most to you.

3. Receiving – Allowing Without Compromise
   Accepting help from a friend or loved one with a task you usually insist on doing yourself, trusting that receiving support doesn’t diminish your independence or value. You allow nourishment and support in a way that respects your integrity.

When we feel controlled or controlling, we may be out of balance in one or more of these areas:

Too much responsibility without authority → burnout

Authority without willingness to receive → isolation

Receiving without grounded responsibility → hollow

Becoming aware of these imbalances allows us to reclaim and realign our personal power.

Even small steps, like speaking your needs with vulnerability, making choices aligned with your truth, or allowing support without compromise, can shift how you feel, how you relate to others, and how you navigate life with clarity, ease, and balance.