Updated: Mar 10, 2020
It was becoming a business owner that allowed me to realized there is nothing more powerful than gaining clarity about what I believe. As I embraced more and more insight about what makes me tick, I recognized the life circumstances that led to my beliefs and my choices about how to function in this world. With this perspective, the choices I have to move my life forward are vast. The steps I have taken led me to a place where my fears have been diffused, one by one. The true cause of any misunderstandings I have suffered from have been soothed and resolved with my new appreciation of the past and it's perspective.
No one could have shown me this. It required living it…feeling my way out of other people’s opinions, out of the constant pressure to please and learn to learn to trust myself again.
The women who are ready to gain access to their personal clarity will embrace their emotions with a different perspective. Rather than emotionally reacting to the circumstances around them, they recognize what will move them powerfully, yet comfortably, towards their next step.
They feel their way into shifts that inspire them, empower them, release them, guide them, step by step, beyond today’s circumstances into the dreams and desires that matter to each of them personally….
Each is filled up, re-nourished within their mind, body and spirit.
Each goes out and loves their world with their own special brand of joy.
Each woman that gives themselves the gift of emotional awareness will find their personal guilt absolve and any shame tied to the past released, as they see themselves moving through old fears that held them back. The communication is housed within my emotions. Perhaps you call it God, or the Universe, there are many names; to me it is the source of pure love; fueling our lives with joy, freedom and growth. I can do, and be, all I desire, with my own personal connection to own inner guidance.
I see my "path to now" in a new light...
My mentor at the time, Marcia…whose watching it all glowing just as brightly as she did when she was here on earth, allowed me to grow, to expand and to enhance who I had already become. She felt like the sun to a wilted flower and I thrived under her fun spirit, her consistent kindness and her belief in me.
For years, I loved my corporate job. I loved the rush of a job well done. Tapping into a creative solution found felt like a "shot of fuel" as a leading-edge thought would come to be, at the right place and the right time. My favorite part was the debrief that came after each meeting, as I was already seeing all the moving parts we had just discussed, integrated…intersecting and triggering deliberate reactions. Who knew I was refining my ability to "see" many moving parts in cooperative systems; a structure that allows deliberate cause and effect.
We were striving to eliminate yet another elder struggling through yet another crisis in the Emergency Department. My expertise became breaking down the problem into individual components, understanding the cause and redesigning intervention to avoid the crisis, chaos and cost.
After I was fired, I found myself faced with an opportunity to figure out my own life experience and I discovered the key to making sense of all of the moving parts of me. I traced my life back to a place that allowed me to realize I had cut off my primary source of communication with myself…my emotions.
I had been convinced they were to big, to bothersome, to out of control and in the middle of the devastating emotions that come with difficult life circumstances, I chose to shut them off. To medicate them and get to a place of called numb.
With my emotions out of the way, I realized for the first time how much they had reared up, surging up and down with the uncontrollable conditions going on in my life.
And at first, I was glad. No emotions to drag me down. I never really got tired; I could work endlessly. Medicate to get some sleep and then up and at it again the next day.
My life went on auto pilot for years. I tended to nothing in my personal life; until the neglect of those I loved added up and finally my world came crashing down.
Truth is, without my emotions, I had cut off my ability to navigate my life. I felt as if I was starving....starving for love and starving for attention.
Today I am full beyond anything I have ever known. I trust myself. I feel alive. I like, even love myself. I am appreciative of every aspect that got me here and am free from anger and resentment.
I am eager to connect with those women who feel like they are suffering from this starvation. Today, this is my purpose.