Updated: Mar 10, 2020
When I believe that my source of love comes from other people it infers my worthiness to receive love is measured by them too. They decide if I am lovable.
Somewhere along my journey, I picked up the belief when I am right, you are wrong. When you are right, I am wrong. Creating a cause and effect formula that remained unspoken and hidden, mainly from me, for many years. A formula that relied on me feeling understood to feel worthy of love. This misunderstanding influenced every relationship I've shared throughout my life.
To me, it felt like constant pressure to "figure it out". I did not realize the reason I needed to feel right is because I believed it measured whether I was worthy to receive love. I had become blind to the fact that I believed someone is right and someone is wrong every single time there is a difference of opinion. Each time I was explaining, defending, convincing, persuading and justifying, I was attempting to move someone from their understanding to mine. Underneath it all, I held on tight to a belief that when they understood me, I was worthy of being loved.
Once my blind spot was revealed, my perspective shifted and I could see the mess it created! I could suddenly see every time I felt misunderstood, conflict followed. I was desperately trying to defend myself, as I had convinced myself it was up to you to define my worth.
This meant every time I admitted I was wrong and you were right, I disempowered myself and stepped into unworthiness. So, my self-doubt inspired me to ask you to step into unworthiness by agreeing I was right. Who would want to do that to themselves! No wonder my relationships felt so confusing.
This realization allowed me to recognize the shift I was reaching for. The place to receive my replenishing love is not from other people. I have a direct connection to the spirit of love. That source already believes in me. That source isn't telling me I am right or I am wrong. Simply put, there is no question of whether I deserve to be loved. Loving energy flows within me, offering love and appreciation for myself and others, endlessly every day. When I feel some sort of positive emotion, I am letting "the flow of love" in. When I feel negative emotion, I have shut the access off. Resulting in a dam of resistance blocking me from receiving exactly what I am hoping for.
By eliminating the misunderstanding that I am to be fulfilled, sustained or replenished by finding "THE ONE", I have a choice to tap into the spirit of love, within me. With this perspective, every relationship in my life shifts into an opportunity to share joy.
Such relief came with this new understanding! It doesn't matter who is right and who is wrong.
We are here to enhance each other's lives.