When Two “Truths” Collide… The Hidden Agenda Beneath the Conflict

We’ve all been there.

A conversation begins with curiosity or concern… and quickly spirals into frustration. Somewhere between trying to explain ourselves and attempting to understand someone else, something shifts. Walls go up. Words lose their meaning. Emotions run high.

In these moments, when two people hold vastly different perceptions, that a subtle, often unnoticed assumption sneaks in:

"You clearly don’t understand me."

This perception doesn't announce itself loudly. It hides beneath the surface, shaping our tone, fueling our reactions, and distorting our listening. It can make us feel isolated, invalidated, or even attacked. But most of all, it reveals a deeper, hidden intention:

It’s not being understood that really matters…what we really want is for the other person to see things our way.
To agree with our version of what happened.
To abandon their viewpoint for ours.

And when they don’t?
We assume they’re closed-minded, silently accuse them of being defensive, or tell ourselves they’re simply wrong.

But here’s the truth that can set us free:

Understanding does not require agreement.

Two conflicting views can both hold unique perspectives that feel like the truth to each person.
This is what makes a view a perspective—it feels like the truth.

Seen individually, either view could be considered valid. But when compared, we tend to quantify what we perceive as the “right” view—and assign “wrong” to the opposing one.

Yet here’s the quiet truth that can shift everything:

Two opposing views can both be valid.
Neither has to be wrong for the other to be true.
And understanding doesn’t require either person to surrender their view.

It requires awareness.

It asks us to consider that their path, their experiences, and their emotions shaped their view…
Just like ours shaped ours.

When we let go of the need to convince others to change their view, something powerful happens.

We create room for connection without conditions.
We soften. We listen more openly.
And we stop treating different views as threats—and start seeing them as invitations.

Because ultimately, peace isn’t found in agreement.
It’s found in acceptance.

The kind that says:

“You don’t have to think like me for me to respect you.”
“You don’t have to agree with me for us to move forward.”
“We can both be right in different ways.”

And that…
Is where understanding truly begins.

It’s not defeat. It’s strength.
It’s a quiet kind of wisdom that allows room for both people to be human.

So next time you find yourself in that familiar place…when the urge to explain, convince, or prove begins to rise, pause.
Take a breath.
Soften your gaze.

And let these words come through:

“Maybe it’s not about who’s right. Maybe it’s about staying connected… even when we see things differently.”

Because that’s where the real magic happens.
In the space where both truths are welcome.

Whether the conflict you feel lives quietly in your mind or outwardly with someone else, I am available to help you. Please feel welcome to reach out to me.

Schedule a convenient time to connect with me here.

With love and appreciation,

Jodi